Hapless Sailor Takes A Round Trip

A man who thought he was sailing along the coast of southern England had to be rescued by emergency services after his motor boat ran out of fuel while repeatedly circling a small island in the River Thames estuary.

The man, who had no nautical guides and only had a roadmap to navigate by, had been trying to sail from Gillingham, about 35 miles east of London, to Southampton on April 19 by following the southern coast of England.

But he ended simply doing laps of the 36-square mile Isle of Sheppey a short distance away in the mouth of the Thames.

Eventually a lifeboat and coastguard were sent to rescue him after he used up all his fuel and ran aground, officials said on Wednesday. He told them he had been trying to navigate by keeping the coastline to his right.

“He was attempting to travel around the UK from Medway to Southampton and had somehow lost his bearings and ended up traveling around the Isle of Sheppey,” said Robin Castle, a member of the local lifeboat station.

“It seems he didn’t have the usual maritime charts or navigational equipment.”

Eurovision 2010 Update: Flash Mob Mania Hits London And Ljubljana

The Eurovision Song Contest flash mob dance is invading Europe piece by piece. Now it’s time for London and Ljubljana to show what they’ve got.

Previously we’ve reported the Norwegian capital and the host city of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest, Oslo and the German city of Düsseldorf (on the 23rd of April). Now the organisers have announced two more cities which will have the flash mob dance event.

The next event is going to take place on the 29th of April, on the international day of dance. And the chosen place is… Ljubljana, Slovenia!

But then it’s up for the UK capital, London, to host the flash mob dance event on the 8th of May.

If you’re joining, be sure to know your moves and check out the instruction videos below:

Earlier, flash mob recordings took place in Barcelona, Reykjavik and Oslo and have all been huge successes.

Bringing Vampires Back Home – To Britain

A British university is to hold a conference on Vampires in an effort to counterbalance the “Americanisation” of the fictional genre.

Delegates to the University of Hertfordshire’s “Open Graves, Open Minds: Vampires and the Undead in Modern Culture” conference to be held on April 16-17 will have their food served to them out of coffins as part of a mission to encourage students of all ages to study literature.

English lecturer Sam George, who has just launched a Master of Arts degree in vampire fiction at Hertfordshire, said the most famous vampire narrative of all, Dracula, was written by Irishman Bram Stoker and set in London and Whitby in Yorkshire, but that now with the “Twilight” saga and “True Blood,” modern vampires have become Americanised.

“It’s amazing how many British actors have played Dracula on screen,” George said in a statement on the university’s website. “I aim to put the British vampire back on the map.”

George said she is particularly interested in the new teen vampire narratives which act as a useful metaphor for wider teen anxieties about their bodies and the first stirrings of desire.

London Actors Deal With Rats, Mice And Fleas

Performers in London’s West End are having to cope with a different kind of stage fright in the form of mice, rat and flea infestations in theatres, according to a new survey by actors’ union Equity.

“The findings have shocked even hardened West Enders,” the union said in its report, which found that three quarters of actors and stage managers reported regular infestations including mice, rats and fleas.

Equity general secretary Christine Payne said the findings suggested that each night, more than 600 actors and stage managers would go to work knowing they were likely to see and smell vermin, “both living and decomposing,” at work.

“I accept that many West End theatres are old and difficult buildings to manage, but this is running out of control,” she added. “These appalling conditions must come to an end.”

The survey was completed by nearly 350 performers and stage managers in 24 different theatres, many of them featuring world-famous shows.

Individuals surveyed reported that floors had been eaten by mice which also left droppings and unpleasant smells.

“I had tiny bite marks on my lipstick recently when I left the lid off,” one respondent said.

Westminster Palace Infested With Mice

The House of Lords has a momentous decision to make: Should it get cats to chase the mice that have infested one of Britain’s most famous buildings?

London’s Houses of Parliament, also known as Westminster Palace, has rodents, and the peers aren’t exactly sure what to do about it.

Ivan Anthony Moore-Brabazon, the House’s administration chief, on Wednesday turned down suggestions to acquire cats. He says the felines could ingest mice poison or wander around the chamber and disrupt business.

He favors the current tactic of using poison and mousetraps.

Parliament staff have reported daily sightings of the rodents in the palace’s restaurants and bars.

The performers’ union Equity says nearby theaters in London’s West End are facing similar problems, with three-quarters of actors and stage managers reporting infestations of mice, rats and fleas, according to The Guardian newspaper.

Police Officer Axed For Putting Naked Pictures Of Himself Online

A firearms officer in London has been removed from his unit after posting naked photographs of himself on the internet.

Pc Malcolm Thomas used the name “funboybobby” to display the pictures on an adult dating site.

The 40-year-old even took photos of himself inside his Metropolitan Police HQ in south London and emailed them to a woman he met on the website.

He also sent a picture of himself posing in his uniform and body armour with his police issue Glock 9mm semi-automatic pistol.

In some photographs the CO19 officer appeared aroused while in another he showed off a tattoo above his bare bottom.

Thomas also boasted about police operations. He used his personal email address to talk about being at the scene when marksmen shot dead lawyer Mark Saunders, 32, last year after he fired a shotgun from his Chelsea flat.

In his online profile, Thomas calls himself “very adventurous” and “very dominant”.

During one chat with a woman called Christina he admitted having sex with a former lover while on duty.

A Met spokeswoman said Thomas had been axed from the CO19 firearms unit immediately after the evidence against him came to light.

She said: “We expect firearms officers to display the highest standards of skill, professionalism and judgement on a daily basis. This case highlights serious concern about the officer’s judgement.”

One source close to CO19 said officers could not lay themselves open to blackmail: “Armed officers keep surveillance on terrorists and serious criminal suspects. It is not appropriate that their most personal details should be open for anyone to view.”

All’s Not Well With The Beefeaters

Two guardians of Britain’s historic Tower of London have been suspended after a female colleague, the first woman warden in their 524-year history, accused them of harassment.

The Tower’s 34 Yeoman Warders, commonly known as Beefeaters — whose ceremonial dress is a distinctive scarlet and gold tunic, white ruff, red stockings and black patent shoes — appointed Moira Cameron to their ranks in 2007.

Cameron, 44, who beat five men to secure the coveted position, has had her uniform defaced and nasty notes left in her locker, newspapers reported, while one suspect has been cautioned by police for defacing Cameron’s entry in the online encyclopedia Wikipedia.

“We can confirm that three Yeoman Warders are under investigation in response to allegations of harassment; two have been suspended,” the Tower of London said in a statement.

Scotland Yard said a 56-year-old man had been cautioned over the matter last month under the Communications Act.

“The matter related to inappropriate use of the Internet,” a spokesman added.

Beefeaters, believed to have earned their nickname from their daily ration of meat, date from 1485 when King Henry VII formed a bodyguard.

To be eligible to join their ranks, candidates must have a minimum of 22 years’ service in Britain’s armed forces and have earned medals for long service and good conduct.

Cameron, who is from Argyll in the west of Scotland, joined the army in June 1985.

The Tower said an internal investigation had begun to see whether her allegations have any foundation and should conclude within two to three weeks.”

The Tower of London was first built in 1078 by William the Conqueror. Its primary functions were as a fortress, royal palace and a prison, but it has served as a place of execution, an armory, a treasury, a zoo, a mint and — since 1303 — the home of the Crown Jewels.

Queen Slips Away For Date Night

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth stunned theater-goers in London this week when she and her husband slipped in to see a play unannounced and at the last minute, newspapers reported.

The queen and Prince Philip apologetically squeezed past other theater-goers to get into their seats for the West End production of World War One play “War Horse” at the New London Theater.

“The Queen and the Duke sat down as the lights dimmed and it was a huge shock when people realized who they were,” said a journalist at the show for The Lady magazine. “They were incredibly apologetic for asking people to let them past and there was no hubbub or fuss about it all.”

The queen and her husband often make incognito trips to the West End, but are rarely spotted, an aide told London’s Evening Standard newspaper.

“The Queen has regularly undertaken similar private visits throughout her reign without any fuss,” the aide said. “It allows her to live a bit more of a normal life.”

The journalist from The Lady said the queen appeared to enjoy the performance, disappeared during the interval and then reappeared discreetly.

“When they left at the end, they were given a round of applause, which the Queen acknowledged with a wave,” she said.

River Thames Returns To London Tube Map

The River Thames is to be reinstated on London’s iconic tube map after a new design which left it out was greeted by a wave of outrage.

Designers had airbrushed out the blue ribbon representing the river in an attempt to de-clutter the map, first produced by draftsman  Harry Beck in 1933.

But Transport for London, which operates the capital’s transport networks, had reckoned without Londoners’ deep affection for their local waterway.

As news of the revamp leaked out, it was inundated with complaints, both from the general public and from Mayor of London, Boris Johnson.

“Can’t believe that the Thames disappeared off the tube map whilst I was out the country! It will be reinstated,” Johnson said on an official Mayor of London Twitter feed after returning from New York on Wednesday.

Action was swift.

“Transport for London today announced that it has listened to Londoners and would be reinstating the River Thames on the world-famous Tube map,” a statement said.

Blunder Lets Porn Be Sold Legally To Kids

Retailers who sell children violent or pornographic videos will be immune from prosecution for the next three months after the discovery of a government blunder 25 years ago.

Britain should have notified the European Commission of the existence of the Video Recordings Act 1984 (VRA) — which regulated the industry — but failed to do so.

“Unfortunately, the discovery of this omission means that, a quarter of a century later, the VRA is no longer enforceable against individuals in United Kingdom courts,” said Barbara Follett, Minister for Culture and Tourism.

Follett said people currently being prosecuted under the act would not be convicted until a new act can take legal effect in three months, the period required for consultation with other EU member states.

In the interim, people will be able to sell pornographic and violent videos to children under the age of 18 without fear of prosecution.

However anyone previously convicted for offences under the act will not be able to appeal their case.

The British Video Association said distributors would continue to submit their works to the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) and asked its members to comply with the provisions on a voluntary basis.

Britain’s Entertainment Retailers Association, which represents more than 90 percent of the UK video market, said “This is extraordinary. For 25 years retailers have been faithfully administering the system and now this happens.”