General Jones Apologizes For Telling Jewish Joke

The room erupted in laughter after National Security Adviser James Jones told a Jewish joke last week to kick off his keynote address to the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, a pro-Israel organization.

But apparently not everyone in the room was amused – and by Monday, when the Israeli paper Haaretz published a story, a full-fledged international incident was born.

On Monday, Mr. Jones issued an apology. In addition, the White House created the appearance of scrubbing the books by not including the off-the-cuff joke in its official transcript of his remarks. White House spokesman Robert Gibbs denied any coverup. “It was obviously an on-camera speech,” he said, per Fox News. “There was no attempt to deceive.”

President Obama’s Passover Greeting

President Barack Obama has published a greeting to the Jewish world in general and to Israel in particular, ahead of the Passover Seder.

After the one of the most strained weeks in Israel-US ties in years, Obama offered warm words to the Jewish people, some even in Hebrew. 

He started his greeting with a verse from the Talmud in Hebrew, followed by the English translation: “In every generation, each of us should feel as though we ourselves had personally gone forth from Egypt.” 

The American president also ended his greeting with the Hebrew words “Chag Sameach”, meaning happy holiday. 

Obama’s letter read: “This evening, Jewish individuals, families, and their friends in America, Israel, and around the world will gather around the Seder table to celebrate the sacred festival of Passover.

Sacha Baron Cohen Guides The Simpsons Through Jerusalem

For once, Jews, Christians and Muslims will be united — in anger at Homer Simpson, who in an upcoming episode of “The Simpsons” believes he’s the messiah.

Set to air nationally March 28 — the Sunday before Passover begins and Palm Sunday — “The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed” finds the Simpson family visiting Jerusalem with a surly Israeli tour guide voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen.

Executive producer Al Jean, who has been with “The Simpsons” since its launch in 1989, says the episode focuses exclusively on the family’s experiences in Jerusalem and doesn’t venture into the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“It’s a 20-minute show, so there’s a limited scope,” he said.

Instead, Jean says, the writers drew on their own Israel experiences to create a Jerusalem that’s fanciful but relatable to real life in the Holy Land.

Joe And Jill Biden Visit Israel

Vice President Joe Biden visited the Yad Vashem Holocaust History Museum on Tuesday and at the end of his visit, signed the site’s guestbook.

He wrote that as a young father, he took his children to visit the Dachau death camp in German, to make them understand how brutal mankind can be.

Biden added that Israel is the heart, life and hope of the world’s Jews, and that it saves lives every day. He said that anyone who doubts this, should visit the museum, and that the State of Israel is a central bolt in the world’s existence.

The American vice president added that each day, Israel challenges the words of poet William Butler Yeats who wrote, “Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart.”

Now What? Ads On The Western Wall

Most people go to the Western Wall to pray, but now some will also head there to pay.

The Israeli cabinet is set to approve a plan that would allow for sponsorship messages to be beamed onto the Western Wall, sources in the Prime Minister’s Office told Haaretz.

If the law is passed by the Knesset, any company will be able to project the image, logo or slogan of its choice on the ancient stones, for a price.  

The proposal, drawn up by MK Mordechai Hidud, will take advantage of technology being developed by Kfar Sava-based start-up Kotelad.  The company – the brainchild of U.S.-born Joe King – has come up with an innovative laser projector capable of beaming high-quality images onto walls, domes, minarets and steeples.

“After thousands of years of just being there, the Western Wall will finally be able to fulfill its commercial potential,” King said.  “The religious and spiritual center of the Jewish people should reflect Jewish heritage – and thus be dedicated to bringing in a healthy profit.”

Clothes Stay On In Frigid Williamsburg

Bicyclists protested the removal of a bike lane through the fervently Orthodox Jewish Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg.

The protesters reportedly had planned to ride topless through the neighborhood at the end of Shabbat on Saturday night — the bike lane reportedly was removed because the Chasidic community is offended by scantily dressed riders.

Extreme cold and the beginning of a snowstorm in New York caused the several dozen cyclists to remain fully clothed, however, though some pinned plastic breasts over their jackets, The Associated Press reported.

Rahm Emanuel Lights The National Menorah

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel lit the National Menorah in celebration of Hanukkah.

The Sunday ceremony marked the 30th anniversary of the first National Menorah lighting in 1979. President Jimmy Carter attended that ceremony.

Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Jewish Second Temple in Jerusalem in 164 B.C. after its desecration by the Syrian-Greeks. The eight-day festival began on Friday.

Emanuel, who is Jewish, was the guest of honor at the lighting on the Ellipse in front of the White House.

He stood in a cherry picker to light it in front of more than 1,000 onlookers on a cold, rainy day.

The participants enjoyed the traditional holiday feast, latkes and doughnuts, and the children received dreidels.

Daven While You Shop

Milk, eggs and evening prayers:  The Big-Zol supermarket chain compound in northern Israel’s Migdal Haemek will soon feature a new attraction – an in-house synagogue. 

Big-Zol currently has four stores in northern Israel, with Migdal Haemek making the fifth.

The synagogue will include a small ark and offer shoppers the opportunity to hold afternoon and evening prayers, thus maximizing the shopping experience.

The 21,500-sq. foot store cost NIS 10 million (about $2.7) to build and all products and suppliers are subject to strict scrutiny to ensure kosher laws.

Big-Zol is planning to open two more stores in northern Israel in the coming year. 

Oy Vey! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Might Have Jewish Roots – Or He Might Not

In America, when someone tries to discredit a political rival, they usually go after one’s sexual liaisons or financial transgressions.

In Iran, one would just say that their rival is Jewish.

All liaisons (and remember, there are no homosexuals in Iran, so that eliminates that area altogether) and transgressions would pale by comparison.

So it should come to no surprise that the son of Ayatollah Khazali, rival to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has written on his blog that good old Mahmoud has Jewish roots.

According to the younger Khazali, the Ahmadinejads changed their last name from Sabourjian, and that the origins of the Sabourjians should be investigated. You see, Sabourijan means “thread painter”, an occupation that was once supposedly associated with Jews.

A few months later, the story was investigated. And the findings were astonishing! Yes, the Ahmadinejad changed their name. And no, Sabourijan does not mean “thread painter”, but rather “weaver of Sabour”,  Sabour being a Jewish shawl!  So…

So what?  Why does the new translation prove (and why Sabour, a region of Pakistan, a country neighboring Iran, is not considered as a possible name origin)?  Seriously, so what?   There are many, many non-Jews with last names that seem obviously Jewish.  But Mahmoud himself is clearly not Jewish.  There’s no proof that his parents were either. Exactly how many generations do we have to go up that family tree to find that supposed Jewish thread painter or shawl weaver?

So is it possible?  Well, it’s not impossible that if a number of flimsy assumptions hold, Ahmadinejad would not be just an antisemite, but an antisemite… with Jewish ancestry.

But we doubt it.

Article courtesy of jewornotjew.com

Anthony Weiner Saves Yom Kippur For Yankee Fans

ESPN and Major League Baseball have agreed to switch the starting time of a Yankees-Red Sox game to avoid conflicting with Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar.

ESPN told The Associated Press that the Sept. 27 game was returning to its original start time of 1 p.m. EDT. It had been changed to 8 p.m. to accommodate ESPN’s schedule; Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and atonement, begins at sundown that evening.

“I am pleased we were able to resolve this sensitive issue that impacted many baseball fans and are able to move the game at Yankee Stadium to 1 p.m.,” Commissioner Bud Selig said in a statement, crediting ESPN for helping to “solve this conflict.” ESPN will still televise the game.

Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y., had sent a letter to Selig and ESPN President George Bodenheimer urging the game be returned to its original afternoon start time.

“There’s no reason why the largest Jewish community in the country should be punished for a last-minute scheduling swap,” Weiner wrote in the letter.

Weiner told the AP that he had spoken with Selig earlier in the day. “He said he agreed, and that he had heard from his own rabbi, that this was a problem,” Weiner said. “He said he was riding ESPN to change their position.”

“It was a basic thing that they can do to be sensitive, and the right thing was done,” he added.

The congressman said that ESPN had the contractual right to change the starting time. “There is the contract, there is the major league rule book, but then there is a higher authority that was dictating a lot of this for fans,” he said.

Earlier this year, the NFL agreed to move the start time of the New York Jets’ home game against the Tennessee Titans on the same day from 4:15 p.m. to 1 p.m. That change was made after Jets owner Woody Johnson sent a letter to commissioner Roger Goodell suggesting the switch, so that fans could arrive home before sundown.