General Jones Apologizes For Telling Jewish Joke

The room erupted in laughter after National Security Adviser James Jones told a Jewish joke last week to kick off his keynote address to the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, a pro-Israel organization.

But apparently not everyone in the room was amused – and by Monday, when the Israeli paper Haaretz published a story, a full-fledged international incident was born.

On Monday, Mr. Jones issued an apology. In addition, the White House created the appearance of scrubbing the books by not including the off-the-cuff joke in its official transcript of his remarks. White House spokesman Robert Gibbs denied any coverup. “It was obviously an on-camera speech,” he said, per Fox News. “There was no attempt to deceive.”

Fast Food Axed At Afghan Bases

Fast food joints where soldiers wolf down burgers and pizza will soon be a thing of the past at bases in Afghanistan, as the U.S. military reminds soldiers they are at war and not in “an amusement park.”

In the sprawling military base at Kandahar, the fast food outlets facing the axe include Burger King, Pizza Hut, and the U.S. chain restaurant T.G.I. Friday’s that features a bar with alcohol-free margaritas and other drinks — all set along the bustling “Boardwalk” area of the base.

On any given day, the giant square-shaped walkway features the surreal sight of soldiers sipping gourmet coffee and eating chocolate pastries with guns slung across their shoulders, while Canadians play ice hockey at a nearby rink and fighter jets thunder overhead.

Indian Military To Weaponize World’s Hottest Chili

The Indian military has a new weapon against terrorism: the world’s hottest chili.

After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized “bhut jolokia,” or “ghost chili,” to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects, defense officials said.

The bhut jolokia was accepted by Guinness World Records in 2007 as the world’s spiciest chili. It is grown and eaten in India’s northeast for its taste, as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the crippling summer heat.

It has more than 1,000,000 Scoville units, the scientific measurement of a chili’s spiciness. Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units, while jalapeno peppers measure anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000.

“The chili grenade has been found fit for use after trials in Indian defense laboratories, a fact confirmed by scientists at the Defense Research and Development Organization,” Col. R. Kalia, a defense spokesman in the northeastern state of Assam, told The Associated Press.

Russian Tanks Abandoned On The Side Of The Road

About 200 modern Russian tanks have been discovered abandoned on the side of a road in the country’s Ural mountains, footage published by websites showed.

Video clips from the E1.ru website that were rebroadcast on Russian television showed local people clambering over some of the unguarded T-80 tanks that were parked in long rows in Kamishlovsk, about 100 km from the Ural city of Yekaterinburg.

Russian military prosecutors are probing how the tanks, Russia’s main battle tank, came to be left in such a situation, state news agency RIA reported.

Russia is currently streamlining its massive military, with some commanders recently quoted in the Russian media as saying they only require half of the country’s 20,000 tanks.

Israel Unveils Drone Fleet That Can Reach Iran

Israel’s air force has introduced a fleet of huge pilotless planes that can remain in the air for a full day and could fly as far as the Persian Gulf, putting rival Iran within its range.

The Heron TP drones have a wingspan of 86 feet (26 meters), making them the size of Boeing 737 passenger jets and the largest unmanned aircraft in Israel’s military. The planes can fly at least 20 consecutive hours and are primarily used for surveillance and carrying diverse payloads.

At the fleet’s inauguration ceremony at a sprawling air base in central Israel, the drone dwarfed an F-15 fighter jet parked beside it. The unmanned plane resembles its predecessor, the Heron, but can fly higher, reaching an altitude of more than 40,000 feet (12,000 meters), and remain in the air longer.

“With the inauguration of the Heron TP, we are realizing the air force’s dream,” said Brig. Gen. Amikam Norkin, commander of the base that will operate the drones. “The Heron TP is a technological and operational breakthrough.”

The commander of Israel’s air force, Maj. Gen. Ido Nehushtan, said the aircraft “has the potential to be able to conduct new missions down the line as they become relevant.”

Israel’s military refused to say how large the new fleet is or whether the planes were designed for use against Iran, but stressed it was versatile and could adapt to new missions. The plane’s maker, state-owned Israel Aerospace Industries, has said it is capable of reaching the Persian Gulf, which would put Iran within its range.

It’s ‘Snowbama’ Time In Hawaii

President Barack Obama took a respite from the pile of grim news clouding his vacation, taking a group of friends and their kids for a chill Hawaii delicacy — shave ice.

At a shave-ice store near his vacation rental, Obama picked one of the concotions, made of ice and fruit syrup and known as the “Snowbama” in his honor — flavored with lemon-lime, cherry, and passion guava.

“That is the Snowbama,” the president said, when reporters questioned his choice of treat, after he ordered the group 19 shave ice cones of various flavors.

Onlookers cheered Obama, who was with daughters Malia and Sasha and friends and their children who have been sharing his vacation in his home state.

Obama arrived in Hawaii just before Christmas and is due to leave on Monday. His hopes for a rest have been disrupted by the attempt by a suspected Nigerian extremist to bring down a US airliner bound for Detroit last week.

His holiday was also jolted by the deaths of seven CIA employees at a forward operating base in Afghanistan.

House Of Representatives Overwhelmingly Condemns The Goldstone Report

The U.S. House of Representatives voted overwhelmingly to condemn the Goldstone report.

The vote urged the Obama administration to keep the report accusing Israel and Hamas of war crimes in last winter’s Gaza war from advancing through the United Nations system, passed 344 to 36 with 22 voting “present.”

The American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), which lobbied hard for the non-binding resolution, said it “strongy applauds” its passing.

“Congress is sending a strong message that the United States will not agree to turn the victim into the perpetrator,” AIPAC said.

The vote comes on the eve of debate on the report in the U.N. General Assembly; the report has already been endorsed by the U.N. Human Rights Council.

The resolution “calls on the President and the Secretary of State to continue to strongly and unequivocally oppose any endorsement of the `Report of the United Nations Fact Finding Mission on the Gaza Conflict’ in multilateral fora, including through leading opposition to any United Nations General Assembly resolution and through vetoing, if necessary, any United Nations Security Council resolution that endorses the contents of this report.” 

The resolution was introduced by U.S. Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.), the senior Republican on the House Foreign Affairs Committee, and Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), its chairman.

Americans To Teach Canadian Soldiers French

Americans are to teach Canadian soldiers to speak French — one of Canada‘s two official languages — after the military’s own lessons received a failing grade, Canadian media reported.

The Department of National Defense awarded a $285,000 contract to Globelink Foreign Language Center in Colorado Springs to tutor Canadians at the North American Aerospace Defence Command headquarters, said the Ottawa Citizen.

However, they are unlikely to have many opportunities to practice their new language skills outside of the base, as a mere 0.3 percent of Colorado residents speak French, according to the last US census.

In May, Canada’s language commissioner Graham Fraser issued a scathing review of the Canadian military’s bilingualism training program.

He said also: “Despite four decades of work and some undeniable successes, Canada has not taken full advantage of its bilingualism.”

French and English have been spoken in Canada since its colonization by the French and British starting in 1608. But for many years English occupied a de facto privileged position.

Ottawa passed the first Official Language Act in 1969 to support the development of linguistic minority communities — anglophones in mostly French-speaking Quebec province, and francophones in the rest of Canada.

Saudi Arabia: Did They Or Didn’t They?

Saudi Arabia denied a report in Britain’s Sunday Express that said the Kingdom offered the Israel Air Force flight paths to attack Iranian nuclear facilities.

The Sunday Express reported this week that the Saudis had agreed to turn a blind eye and not interfere should Israel and the United States attack Iranian nuclear facilities via Saudi air space.

A senior Saudi official said that the report was baseless, adding that his country would demand that the newspaper print a retraction and apology.

The United States, France and United Kingdom demanded access last week to Iranian nuclear facilities after Iran revealed the existence of a second uranium enrichment plant in a letter to the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Military May Lift Ban On Women In Submarines

Top Pentagon officials are calling for an end to the U.S. military‘s historical ban on allowing women to serve in submarines.

Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the top U.S. military officer, advocated the policy change in written congressional testimony distributed by his office to reporters.

“I believe we should continue to broaden opportunities for women. One policy I would like to see changed is the one barring (women’s) service aboard submarines,” Mullen said.

Navy Secretary Ray Mabus said he was “moving out aggressively on this.”

“I am very comfortable addressing integrating women into the submarine force,” Admiral Gary Roughead, chief of naval operations, said in a statement.

Women account for about 15 percent of the more than 336,000 members of the U.S. Navy and can serve on its surface ships. But critics have argued that submarines are different, pointing to cramped quarters where some crews share beds in shifts.

Nancy Duff Campbell, an advocate for expanding the role of women in the U.S. armed forces, said it would be easy to resolve problems associated with so-called “hot-bunking.”

“They say, ‘How could we have the women sleeping in the same area as men?’” said Campbell, co-president of the National Women’s Law Center (NWLC).

“But they already separate where the officers sleep from the enlisted, so it’s not like it can’t be done.”

Roughead said the problem of sorting out accommodations on the U.S. fleet of 71 submarines was not insurmountable.

Allowing women on submarines would be another step forward in expanding the role of women in the U.S. military. Last year, a woman was promoted to the rank of four-star general for the first time.

Women are still barred from traditional frontline combat roles in the U.S. military. But female soldiers often run the same risks as men in Iraq and Afghanistan, where bombings and other insurgent attacks can happen almost anywhere and target any U.S. unit.